Rate Naija:Façade

FAÇADE , Thai Restaurant
10, Bishop Abayode Cole, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria

So I’m lucky – I’ve got a great bunch of co-workers, a couple who are really good friends outside of work and a couple who are from out-of-country (is that acceptable speak like out of town? Out of country? Hm, ah well). So we hit on this brilliant idea to form a foodie club where we test out a new and different restaurant in town every other week. It makes for quite the event as conversations over dinner grow so many wings and fly in all kinds of hilarious directions. Fun times.

But on to the review. Now this restaurant was my choice having desperately searched the interwebs (read as Lost in Lagos) for somewhere new and fascinating. The pictures for Façade caught my attention, I am sucker for Thai food, and even better, it was down the street from work. So we were all set.

Rate Naija: Café Vanessa

CAFÉ VANESSA, Italian Restaurant
89B, Agoro Odiyan Street), Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria
+234(0)806-123-0003

I was car-hunting when my eyes fell on the landscape that is Café Vanessa. I knew right off the bat it was a new spot and promised I would take the time to check it out sooner than later. The perfect opportunity came around during some random public holiday this month (side note – holidays shoved midweek are the worst. They feel like sick days most of the time and it’s a pain getting back to work right after).

Anyway, I made lunch plans with E to check it out. Right from the second we walked through the door, the service was effusive, in fact, almost overwhelmingly so. First, we had a mini tour of the place. Turns out the restaurant is the front of a club called Auto Lounge (which I’d heard about but never been to) and they had only been open for a month.

The décor and set-up reminded me of Bistro Lounge – not a lot of space but they did miracles with they had. One half is a more casual setting with comfy chairs, magazines to peruse, and cozy cubby spaces by the windows. The other half is the more formal restaurant with the usual settings. A door then leads into the actual club which is quite large and would be the ideal space for a surprise party or something of the sort (not that I’m not secretly hinting my loved ones…not really).

Rate Naija: Bistro 7

BISTRO 7, Intercontinental Restaurant
273B, Kofo Abayomi Street, Victoria Island, Lagos
+234 1-877-6622, +234 807-668-7777

The best thing about Bistro 7, of course, is the décor and ambiance. If you squint and peer with one eye, you can almost imagine you’re nowhere near the jungle that is Lagos city but I imagine that would be rather uncomfortable doing do for an entire meal so, yeah, never mind.

This restaurant is rather hard to find. I’ve been a number of times and keep almost missing it each time but here’s a tip – keep your eyes peeled for the low, white gate with a big gold number ‘7’ plastered on it.

Now I’ll be honest and say I haven’t done much experimenting with the menu they’ve got to offer. Speaking of menu, the variety of options is adequate and by that, I mean they don’t give you one of those huge booklets that have you feeling like you’re about to swot hard for an exam from hell (*mutters ‘Café Royal’ under breath*).

Rate Naija: Hot Chocolate, Milkshakes & Icecream

Having had THE BEST HOT CHOCOLATE LIKE EVUHHHH in THE BEST GADDEM CITY IN THE WORLD (Rome, Italy) 2 summers ago, I had since despaired of ever tasting anything of the like again.

And then…now, don’t get excited, I didn’t exactly find a replacement but I sure as heck had me the best hot chocolate ever in Nigeria at *drumroll* the self-service mini-Café Royal at the top of the Palms in Victoria Island Extension.

My girl had called me up a couple Sundays ago to hang out and have a quick drink. It was the perfect weather – cool with a light drizzle after a thunderstorm much earlier that morning. We decided on the café and went in with zero expectations.

Rate Naija: Terra Kulture

TERRA KULTURE, Arts Venue, African/Intercontinental Restaurant
Plot 1376, Tiamiyu Savage, Victoria Island, Lagos
+234-1-2700588

I love Terra Kulture. No, let me correct that, I LOVE Terra Kulture. I think they have managed to strike a fine and awesome balance between being this artsy, alternative joint while retaining some modernity. It is a very appealing place, honestly.

I have been here quite a couple of times and I’ve never walked away with a complaint. That “feeling” I keep talking about? I get it here at Terra Kulture every single time. Whether it’s their grilled prawns, grilled mixed platter, grilled catfish, fried plantain (don’t ever go to Terra Kulture and leave without ordering a side of their plantain!!!!), chicken pepper soup, fried yam chips, egg and corned beef stew….Lawd Haysus, it’s all GREAT food and relatively healthy fare too! I should know, I’ve had all of the dishes listed and more.

Rate Naija: Paris Deli

PARIS DELI, Intercontinental Restaurant
11B, Akin Adesola Street, Victoria Island
+234-803-855-5557

I’m feeling more than a little conscious now ‘cause it seems all I do when I do go out is EAT. However, you might just need to suck it up ‘cause I swear, that’s almost all there is about to do in Lagos.

Now, on to Paris Deli. When I first discovered Paris Deli, I bought into the magic. Seriously, the décor, the ambiance, the menu…I was won over, so much so that I didn’t even blink at the hefty bill when it was time to head out. Now, after subsequent outings here, the magic has faded away. 

This place, like Café Royal, has an atrocious food-to-cost ratio. I’m left after every meal thinking Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot (WTF), did I just pay….how much for that??? To be fair, they do have some mid-range affordable dishes on their menu and their pastries and desserts are sorta affordable too but overall, once you get over the initial glamor of the place, it’s all downhill from there.

Rate Naija: Café Royal

CAFÉ ROYALE, Intercontinental Restaurant
267A Etim Iyang Crescent, Victoria Island, Lagos.
+234-1-2714155 

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been to Café Royal quite the number of times so I might as well get the post about 'em over with.

I like Café Royal. I really do but...I just don't love it. I think the key reason is the food-to-cost ratio. What do I mean by that? Well, picture it like this: there’s nothing like going out to spend your hard-earned (for some of us, anyway) money on a meal and feeling like every single penny was worth it by the time you put your knife and fork down (or ask for some water to wash your hands--again, for some of us, anyway).  You know that feeling, right? It’s like that, damn, that was some good shit and I’d spend some good money again on that good shit in a heartbeat. 

I’ve gotten that great feeling in some places but I’ve never had the feeling at Café Royal . Like, the amount of money I have to spend on food in Café Royal to almost get that feeling is, more often than not, never justified to me by the end of the meal. The best it’s been is “well, that wasn’t bad at all, for once” and that was this one time when I had their blueberry pancakes, yum!

Anywayyyy, on to the verdict: